It’s understandable you’d search for a PDA-friendly homeschool curriculum; there are enough pressures and problems to solve, without having to come up with an educational plan from scratch! We parents crave the guidance, reassurance and ease it’s hard to come by when parenting children with a nervous system disability so often misunderstood. A step-by-step plan would take the load off… And maybe provide home learning ideas which actually work for education resistant children.

Unfortunately, most homeschool curricula are built around compliance and consistency. They unintentionally recreate school expectations, requiring families to be able to follow along in a predictable and linear manner, building skills and knowledge as they go. Life with PDA is rarely like this! A step-by-step curriculum can quickly become a demand which triggers anxiety and resistance, and becomes completely inaccessible. It becomes left to collect dust on your shelf or ignored on your hard drive… 

To learn as a PDAer is to have fits and starts of enthusiasm, motivation and capacity. It’s to be able to access something with enthusiasm one day, and not the next. The more we can take this on board as home educators, the easier learning will be for our children to access.

Plus, with PDA often overlapping with ADHD, our children often need high-stimulation that a long, paper-based curriculum won’t provide. 

It’s not that your PDA child won’t learn, or doesn’t want to learn. It’s that they need to feel safe to learn, and they don’t feel safe when their learning is being controlled.

If a traditional homeschool curriculum won’t work for a PDA child. What will?

While the home school regulations of your country/region will dictate how you approach your child’s education somewhat. A crucial step is to think about how to help a PDA child feel safe enough to learn. 

PDA children need an educational approach that includes:

• Freedom
• Emotional consistency
• Perceived equality
• Novelty & fun
• Low demands
• Permission to say NO
• Safe relationships & connection

Beyond anything, your PDAer needs an educational approach that sees them. Your child isn’t an educational project, but a full human who deserves respect and responsiveness based on their unique needs and interests. What do they want to learn? How do they want to learn? What do they enjoy? What schools will benefit them most where they’re at right now?

PDA home education works best when learning flows from this, not external timelines or curriculum goals. Instead of subjects and levels, think about skills and themes. Rather than “maths knowledge” aim for practical numeracy skills. Rather than “english grades” think about developing literacy skills and language/media comprehension and appreciation.

Try to accept the ebb and flow of child-led learning. Your child may drop behind school peers in one area, yet thrive in another. Know that they can make huge leaps of progress on their own timeline.

Building a home learning plan together

“But I want some sort of way to plan?” I get it. It would be so much more convenient for my own neurodivergence if I could extensively plan and have my kids follow it… Yet we need to be realistic. Plans are demands for PDAers. Even exciting plans can ramp up anxiety. Instead, we need to:

• Stay flexible – Swap strict schedules for broad daily rhythms (screentime, hands-on activities, watching things, hanging out). You don’t need to use the word plan at all, think of your ‘plan’ as more of an approach.
  

• Plan loosely – Have ideas ready, but be okay with dropping them. Use them like a menu to choose from when the time is right.
  

• Ask them what they want – Get your child on board. What do they want? Is there anything they’re desperate to know how to do? Or is there a way they want to use their time? If they “don’t want to do anything at all” pay closer attention to what they are doing. What are they learning with their video games or toys? How can you invite them to expand on the fun they’re having?
  

• Be careful with language – The words you use can be a massive trigger for PDA anxiety. Try to phrase things in a way that allows genuine autonomy. Yes, it’s counterintuitive to mainstream parenting approaches… But you’ll already know bossing them around doesn’t work! This looks like: “Would you like to try…” rather than “today we’re going to do…” or “I thought maybe we could…” rather than “we need to…”
  

• Add plenty of novelty –Rotate materials, locations, or approaches to keep curiosity alive.
  

• Use their interests – Build learning around what they naturally explore, even if you think there’s no learning in it… It can usually be found!

   

• Adjust your mindset –Remember, growth can look nonlinear. Trust that progress will happen in their time.

Planning homeschool for a PDA child can look like having just a couple of activities or ideas a day to invite them to try. Truly allowing them to say no. It’s important to note that if your child is in burnout, they may not even be able to engage with that. As your child heals and they feel safer, their capacity and curiosity will grow, making activities possible again.

What does progress really look like when homeschooling PDAers?

There’s no avoiding the fact – allowing a PDA child to thrive is particularly hard for those who are required to meet stringent homeschool criteria or scheduled exams… This next section looks at how to notice progress outside of the typical assessment approaches:

Notes subtle signs – For PDA children, home education progress may look like reduced resistance, self-starting activities, more off-screen exploration, reduced anxiety, increased social confidence and generally curiosity and enthusiasm being present.

Pay attention to what they’re saying – For verbal PDAers, conversation is one of the easiest ways to understand the progress being made. What are they chatting about? What things are they excited to tell you? What opinions are they forming? What questions do they have? What are they eager to teach you?

Watch out for new skills – There’s something deeply satisfying about letting our children lead their learning and noticing the outcomes that have come without coercion. When you pay attention, you will notice how their skills develop in the things they focus their attention on. Perhaps they spend hours animating and you can see signs of improvement in timing, storytelling, humour, editing, illustration… Or maybe they’re video gamers and you notice their increased patience, persistence, communication skills, problem-solving, creativity.

The skills your child develops now are transferable as they age. Isn’t it amazing they can develop determination and persistence, creativity and logic, doing something they love? Rather than being forced to do schoolwork that leads them to tears and meltdowns!

Finally, it’s important to remember: well-being always trumps academic achievement. Because if your PDA child doesn’t feel safe enough to learn, they can’t.

This post is based on personal understanding and lived experience. It does not speak for every PDA individual and is not a substitute for professional or medical advice. For other recommended reading on PDA, head to the further resources page.